Fairy wands and boundaries
It’s a Saturday afternoon, and there’s a gaggle of six- and seven-year-old girls running around in face paint and fancy dresses, clutching wands they just decorated. I’m standing on the perimeter, chatting with a few parents at this too-cute-for-words fairy princess birthday tea party.
One mom mentions she got tapped to host this year’s first grade parent social. It’s one of my favorite traditions at our school—each fall, one family hosts a cocktail party so parents can connect outside of music lessons, soccer practices, and classroom events.
But as this mom is telling me, she admits she didn’t really want to do it. Her house is small, they don’t host often, and it felt like too much.
Yet when asked, she didn’t know how to say no. She agreed, then immediately regretted it.
A few minutes later, another mom joins the circle and casually says, “Oh yeah, they asked me too. But I already have too much going on this fall, so I just told them it wasn’t a possibility.”
The first mom’s eyes widened: “Wait—that’s it? You just… say no?”
(For the record, I’ve also said no to hosting that party. My house is tiny, and the idea of 60 parents milling around while I’m trying to get my kids to bed? Absolutely not.)
This moment stuck with me because it reminded me of something Joanna Goddard (of Cup of Jo, my favorite daily blog) recently wrote on her Substack:
The #1 career lesson I’ve learned? The thing I coach my colleagues to do? The big takeaway I hope my kids are absorbing? Here it is, and once you do it, it becomes easy…
Say a kind and firm no.
I say no allllllll day long, and I have zero emotions around it. People want a lot of things, and that’s great! They should ask for them! I ask them for things, too! But that doesn’t mean we all owe each other everything, just because we want stuff. You need to guard your time and bandwidth, and it’s absolutely fine to say yes or no to whatever is asked of you…
For any recovering people pleasers: please know that people can absolutely handle the small disappointment of having you say no to their requests. Respect them and trust that they will be just fine! We believe in them! …
I think it’s especially important for women to learn to say no, easily and often, since we can often feel immense pressure to serve others. It gets easier and easier as you practice, and once you get good at it? Honestly, it feels like freedom.
As entrepreneurs, we’re often tempted—or even feel obligated—to say yes to everything. Every opportunity, every collaboration, every coffee chat, every “maybe this could lead somewhere.”
But as Kami Orange reminded us during the Thrive Summit, when you’re an intuitive entrepreneur, opportunities will always be abundant.
When you’re clear on your messaging, when you let your talents shine, when you serve from your soul—you magnetize opportunities.
Which means you need to get discerning.
Here’s the reframe:
It’s easier to say no, and then later circle back with a “Yes, actually, I’d love to if there’s still space,” than it is to overload yourself with yeses that drain your life force.
Your no protects your yes.
Your no keeps your calendar clear for what really matters.
Because, no thanks. We’re not doing the drained, overextended version of entrepreneurship anymore.
Want to become the kind of entrepreneur who attracts so many opportunities that you need to get better at saying no?
That’s the work we do inside the membership. In the Chakra Path to Consistent Premium Clients, we align your business energetically and strategically—so opportunities flow in, and you’re equipped to discern which ones light you up (and which ones get a firm no).
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P.s. I had the pleasure of being on Summer Paradiso's Soul Inspirit podcast this week.
We covered:
How I discovered “business chakras”
Learning surrender through illness and recovery
Why control is an illusion (and how to release it)
Partnering with your business like a living spirit
The concept of cosmic trust
P.p.s. I’ve been having so much fun doing these podcast episodes recently, I’d love to do more! If you host one or know of one I should be a guest on, let’s talk!
