I got on stage...and failed to break the board

The night before I broke a board with my hand, I wrote what I’m moving toward on one side of it and the beliefs holding me back on the other.

Some of the goals I wrote down require getting in front of big groups to share my message, so when it was time, I got in the line to break my board on stage. This was day two of Ignite Live, a 3-day program led by Megan Blacksmith, a neurolinguistic programming (NLP) trainer, in Virginia Beach, and I decide if I'm going for it, I might as well really go for it.

When it was my turn, I stepped up. I followed Megan’s prompts to get my energy in order. I drew my arm up, and in that moment, I knew: I’m not going to be able to break it.

Which, of course, meant I didn’t break it. Oh ain’t that the way!

So I stepped back. Regrouped. Stepped back up, raised my palm, and broke the damn board.

I spent the rest of that day working on the belief behind the thing in my way. Mine was a story that said when I go for the big thing, bad things happen.

I picked a new belief to implant instead. Now I believe that doing it big leads to all good things. (Debating a t-shirt and a throw pillow. Maybe both?)

If you’re eyeing something big and you keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, I’d bet there’s a belief like mine on the back of your board. You don’t have to know what it is yet. Here are three things from the week you can try before you do.

Ask how or what instead of why. “Why” is mostly a banned question in NLP, because it puts you on the defensive and sends you looking for reasons it’s true. Compare “Why did you leave your job?” with “How did you know it was time to leave your job?” The second one opens a door. The next time you catch yourself asking “why can’t I do this?”, try “what specifically is going on?” and see what answer you get.

Catch the sentence before the swing. Not breaking it on the first try is where the learning is, and the first clue is the picture or the words in your head right before you start. Mine was I’m not going to be able to break it, and it showed up as my arm went up. If you’re about to do something big, notice the words in the moment before you begin. Then get curious.

Celebrate before it’s done. On the last day, we each stood in small groups and acted out finishing the thing we want: the talk, the launch, the book. Everyone cheered like it had already happened, because your body takes that in as real. Tell one friend what you’re going for this month and ask her to cheer for you now. Better yet: when we work together, I’ll not only cheer you on with gusto, but I’ll help you map the plan that gets you exactly where you want to go.

Tonight is the last night to enter the 5 Years, 5 Winners giveaway. It closes at 11:59 PM and I’m choosing the winners tomorrow. If you’re on this list, all you have to do to enter is hit reply and tell me the one thing you want more of.

Finding the belief behind the big thing and choosing its replacement is a big part of what I do with clients in private coaching, and after Ignite, I’m even better equipped to help you.